“You were a song I couldn’t sing You were a story I couldn’t tell I’ve only ever loved myself, But I’ve loved myself so well How defeated I return (You’re nice and blue, you’re nice and blue) I missed what I was supposed to learn As all I learned about was missing you I was once the wine, I was once the wine, I was once the wine, And you were the wine glass I was once alive, I was once alive, I was once alive, When you held me”-mewithoutYou It is beginning; the call to return and my answer. I don’t think things will be the same as they were before, after all, I am a different person now. I wasn’t “happy” with myself then, though, I’m not “happy” with myself now. I’m not happy that I’ve been able to blatantly disregard the feelings of others in my own selfish pursuits this past semester. I don’t like that over the past two years I’ve managed to learn to ignore the call to help those less fortunate than myself. Somewhere, I purposefully lost myself in pursuit of my idol of happiness. “Oh my God, I hate the me that I’ve become…Truthfully, I can’t be the me that I’ve washed up to be” Maybe God will act as my guide so I’m not wandering, lost in Sinai, for another several years.
